Content warning: brief mention of suicidal ideation Early on in my life, I memorized the following order of value with the acronym “JOY”: Jesus first, Others second, and Yourself last. This way of thinking led to many years of never thinking about myself at all. This is because Jesus was…Continue Reading
Posts
What is this blog about?
This blog is about myself, but it’s also about the things I care about. Everything matters to me. That doesn’t mean I know everything, though. Far from it. In writing about my own struggles, I aim to include struggles of all kinds. I can’t write about experiences that aren’t my…Continue Reading
Tragedy and Victory
My most popular writings are about surviving an abusive childhood. I’ve gathered readers from people who are curious, intrigued, or can’t look away from the details. As I’ve gotten better, though, I’ve been told that people prefer to celebrate victories. This is counterintuitive to my experience. Would you rather read…Continue Reading
Learning How to be Effective
All my life, the people around me have said to me, “You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.” For most of my life, I would respond angrily, “Well, who else is going to?” I was angry because I perceived the world as being full of complacent people.…Continue Reading
Consuming with Care
There’s a lot to be said about being environmentally conscientious. For a long time, I believed that it’s pointless to try on an individual level. After all, the main people to blame for environmental destruction are the ultra-wealthy and the corporations. My perspective has shifted over the years because I’ve…Continue Reading
Fear Thrives on Avoidance
When I was growing up, my family didn’t always celebrate Halloween. We went trick-or-treating when I was very young, but later my parents became convinced that it was unholy. Witches, demons, and ghosts all went against god’s way. Instead, we celebrated All Saint’s Day on November 1st. We’d dress up…Continue Reading
Writing and Trauma Recovery
I feel like I have written myself into a corner. I was fueled with rage when I first committed to writing about my experiences, and now I’m stuck with having to write down the details of my traumatic past. It’s triggering to work on my memoir. I’m trying to work…Continue Reading
Learning How to Rest
Last year’s Disney film Encanto was a powerful and endearing musical. It did a fantastic job of addressing how intergenerational trauma can lead to dysfunctional family roles. Of course, the song that most resonated with me was the one sang by the oldest sister, Luisa, “Surface Pressure.” Like her, I…Continue Reading
High Stakes and Long-Winded Takes
My blog posts are lengthy. I am in the habit of choosing broad subjects with a great deal of nuance to consider. As pretty much everyone I’ve ever met has told me, “You bite off more than you can chew.” This has led in recent years to inconsistent blog posts.…Continue Reading
Urgency and Perfectionism
I’ve written less than ever this year. I’ve been busy with school and therapy, but I’ve also allowed the perfect to become the enemy of the good. I’ve been unlearning my writing assumptions and learning how to write more proficiently. More than all that, I’ve been taking many hard lessons…Continue Reading