The Trauma Tug-of-War
The tug-of-war that takes place in my psyche now is that in relation to my trauma, I’m simultaneously obsessed and avoidant. I avoid the triggers because it’s painful, even detrimental, to revisit the traumatic memories.
Category: Psychology and mental illness
Coping Skills
“I’m learning the ropesI’m learning to copeI’m learning that more of us got hella demons than got any hope.” -Xiuhtezcatl I’ve been in and out of therapy for over a decade, but I didn’t really understand what it means to put my mental health first until a few years ago. I was going in circles… Continue reading Coping Skills
Birthday Post 10
I hear you don’t like itI don’t care if you don’t…You can burn the skin I live inBut you cannot burn the witch away-Aurora, The Devil is Human It’s taken twelve years to record my thoughts on milestones ten times. For me, a birthday is a chance to reflect on how life changes as it… Continue reading Birthday Post 10
Rethinking Victimhood
“Don’t be a victim.” “You have a victim mentality.” “I’m not a victim.” “I’m not like a typical victim.” These statements are often normalized and seen as signs of strength and resilience. We don’t want to give our abusers so much credit as to define ourselves by what they did to us. However, these phrases… Continue reading Rethinking Victimhood
Letter of Self-Compassion: Writer’s Block
“There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.” This phrase is commonly attributed to Hemingway, but may have been said by Red Smith in an interview about column writing. I haven’t read the works of either of these men, but for years I lived by this… Continue reading Letter of Self-Compassion: Writer’s Block
Letters of Self-Compassion: Heaven
2015 was so full of transformations. I worked three different jobs, and my relationships were in a constant state of flux. It seemed like I was constantly losing friends while precariously trying to make new ones. At the beginning of the year I found myself sick of trying, as I had desperately all my life,… Continue reading Letters of Self-Compassion: Heaven
Letter of Self-Compassion: Hell
One of my earliest memories is of crying with my mom. When I was about five, it occurred to me that not everyone I loved was a Christian. My mom told me that they would be going to hell, and I was gutted. I started naming family members, asking “even them?” and as I cried,… Continue reading Letter of Self-Compassion: Hell
An Introduction to a New Series: Letters of Self-Compassion
“Things you said about me, it hurt, it did.What matters more is how I feel about myselfThe things you said about me, I won’t forgetWhat matters now is how I feel about myself.” –Melan, Soul Stream I want to try something new. I have been doing it in several ways already, but not yet in… Continue reading An Introduction to a New Series: Letters of Self-Compassion
Non-toxic Positivity
I started blogging over a decade ago, and I’ve always written about my beliefs and how they’ve changed. In one of my early posts, “When the Heart Forces a Smile,” I talked about how my mom taught me forced smiling when I felt upsetting, intense emotions. I didn’t identify this as a form of controlling… Continue reading Non-toxic Positivity
Beginning Again
I really appreciate every person that takes the time to visit my blog. It’s 2023, and there are thousands of posts and ads fighting for your attention each day. The fact that you think of my name and either type it into your browser or fight past the noise of your email inbox to click… Continue reading Beginning Again