“Don’t be a victim.” “You have a victim mentality.” “I’m not a victim.” “I’m not like a typical victim.” These statements are often normalized and seen as signs of strength and resilience. We don’t want to give our abusers so much credit as to define ourselves by what they did to us. However, these phrases… Continue reading Rethinking Victimhood
“There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.” This phrase is commonly attributed to Hemingway, but may have been said by Red Smith in an interview about column writing. I haven’t read the works of either of these men, but for years I lived by this… Continue reading Letter of Self-Compassion: Writer’s Block
2015 was so full of transformations. I worked three different jobs, and my relationships were in a constant state of flux. It seemed like I was constantly losing friends while precariously trying to make new ones. At the beginning of the year I found myself sick of trying, as I had desperately all my life,… Continue reading Letters of Self-Compassion: Heaven
One of my earliest memories is of crying with my mom. When I was about five, it occurred to me that not everyone I loved was a Christian. My mom told me that they would be going to hell, and I was gutted. I started naming family members, asking “even them?” and as I cried,… Continue reading Letter of Self-Compassion: Hell
“Things you said about me, it hurt, it did.What matters more is how I feel about myselfThe things you said about me, I won’t forgetWhat matters now is how I feel about myself.” –Melan, Soul Stream I want to try something new. I have been doing it in several ways already, but not yet in… Continue reading An Introduction to a New Series: Letters of Self-Compassion
I started blogging over a decade ago, and I’ve always written about my beliefs and how they’ve changed. In one of my early posts, “When the Heart Forces a Smile,” I talked about how my mom taught me forced smiling when I felt upsetting, intense emotions. I didn’t identify this as a form of controlling… Continue reading Non-toxic Positivity
I really appreciate every person that takes the time to visit my blog. It’s 2023, and there are thousands of posts and ads fighting for your attention each day. The fact that you think of my name and either type it into your browser or fight past the noise of your email inbox to click… Continue reading Beginning Again
I struggle a great deal with being human. For many years, I bristled at people who said to me, “you’re a human,” wondering what on earth they meant. People go through life with a wide range of definitions for humanness. As a young child, I was taught that to be human was to be flawed.… Continue reading Doing Enough
I entered adulthood wholly uneducated and unprepared for life. I was homeschooled until I was 19. When I tried attending a local university while living with my parents, I had no time to study. I also had no respect for academia. In my mind, my own ignorant Christian beliefs were superior to whatever I might… Continue reading Close Clarity
From what I have read about trauma recovery, the process can take a lifetime. The damage done over decades cannot be overwritten in a few years. I’m looking to the future with cautious hope. While a new year may not be a magical reset, I am reflecting on my priorities. I want to improve my… Continue reading Future Focus
