2015 was so full of transformations. I worked three different jobs, and my relationships were in a constant state of flux. It seemed like I was constantly losing friends while precariously trying to make new ones. At the beginning of the year I found myself sick of trying, as I had desperately all my life,… Continue reading Letters of Self-Compassion: Heaven
One of my earliest memories is of crying with my mom. When I was about five, it occurred to me that not everyone I loved was a Christian. My mom told me that they would be going to hell, and I was gutted. I started naming family members, asking “even them?” and as I cried,… Continue reading Letter of Self-Compassion: Hell
“Things you said about me, it hurt, it did.What matters more is how I feel about myselfThe things you said about me, I won’t forgetWhat matters now is how I feel about myself.” –Melan, Soul Stream I want to try something new. I have been doing it in several ways already, but not yet in… Continue reading An Introduction to a New Series: Letters of Self-Compassion
This past year has been…a lot to survive. It feels like I’ve done very little of what I once loved to do: writing and reading. In the midst of chaotic events, I’m proud of myself for making it through with mental clarity. I put a lot of work into my mental health, and it has… Continue reading Goodbye 2023
I started blogging over a decade ago, and I’ve always written about my beliefs and how they’ve changed. In one of my early posts, “When the Heart Forces a Smile,” I talked about how my mom taught me forced smiling when I felt upsetting, intense emotions. I didn’t identify this as a form of controlling… Continue reading Non-toxic Positivity
Today I did the dishes sitting down, across the course of a few hours, taking breaks between sittings. I did this because I’ve been trying to listen to my body when it needs a break or to not stand. I also did it because yesterday I saw a post saying that refusing to sit down… Continue reading The Rebellious Act of Listening to My Body
Every month, I make one paycheck through Patreon. This is to support me and my work as a writer. My number of supporters has fluctuated widely over the years. At this point, I am making less than what I need to pay my half of rent. I’ve been trying to raise money as needed throughout… Continue reading Patreon and Substack Discounts
I really appreciate every person that takes the time to visit my blog. It’s 2023, and there are thousands of posts and ads fighting for your attention each day. The fact that you think of my name and either type it into your browser or fight past the noise of your email inbox to click… Continue reading Beginning Again
When I was growing up, my mom expected us to do school every weekday. Although this was the goal, it rarely happened. There were a lot of obstacles in the way of getting to the point where we could get started. In theory, we’d clean up after breakfast and, with the floors swept and the… Continue reading Learning Amidst Chaos
Today I turn 31. My day began with refilling my medication container. It has 28 compartments, so a week’s worth of taking meds four times a day. Getting medicated for my mental illnesses is among the best decisions I’ve ever made. I have an excellent psychiatrist who has worked with me over the past couple… Continue reading Birthday Post 9