My most popular writings are about surviving an abusive childhood. I’ve gathered readers from people who are curious, intrigued, or can’t look away from the details. As I’ve gotten better, though, I’ve been told that people prefer to celebrate victories. This is counterintuitive to my experience. Would you rather read about victory or tragedy? In… Continue reading Tragedy and Victory

All my life, the people around me have said to me, “You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.” For most of my life, I would respond angrily, “Well, who else is going to?” I was angry because I perceived the world as being full of complacent people. They didn’t care about housing… Continue reading Learning How to be Effective

When I was growing up, my family didn’t always celebrate Halloween. We went trick-or-treating when I was very young, but later my parents became convinced that it was unholy. Witches, demons, and ghosts all went against god’s way. Instead, we celebrated All Saint’s Day on November 1st. We’d dress up as our favorite Christian martyrs… Continue reading Fear Thrives on Avoidance

I feel like I have written myself into a corner. I was fueled with rage when I first committed to writing about my experiences, and now I’m stuck with having to write down the details of my traumatic past. It’s triggering to work on my memoir. I’m trying to work on trauma recovery so I… Continue reading Writing and Trauma Recovery

Last year’s Disney film Encanto was a powerful and endearing musical. It did a fantastic job of addressing how intergenerational trauma can lead to dysfunctional family roles. Of course, the song that most resonated with me was the one sang by the oldest sister, Luisa, “Surface Pressure.” Like her, I was seen as the strong… Continue reading Learning How to Rest

My blog posts are lengthy. I am in the habit of choosing broad subjects with a great deal of nuance to consider. As pretty much everyone I’ve ever met has told me, “You bite off more than you can chew.” This has led in recent years to inconsistent blog posts. I will sometimes miss an… Continue reading High Stakes and Long-Winded Takes

I’ve written less than ever this year. I’ve been busy with school and therapy, but I’ve also allowed the perfect to become the enemy of the good. I’ve been unlearning my writing assumptions and learning how to write more proficiently. More than all that, I’ve been taking many hard lessons in humility. My place in… Continue reading Urgency and Perfectionism

For many years, I didn’t believe that marriage was for me because of its conservative connotations. However, conservatives don’t own the joy of community celebration. Now I understand that marriage is about kindred spirits joining in the hope of a future together. I’m excited to be getting married soon! What marriage means to conservatives: The… Continue reading The Meaning of Marriage

I am excited to announce that I’m getting married! My partner Ryann and I have been talking for months about how we want to express our commitment to each other. We’ve grown close and developed a deep mutual trust over the years. In this post, I want to share some thoughts on how my perspective… Continue reading I’m Engaged!