Trigger warnings: Christian martyr culture, child abuse, suicidal ideation This piece is being re-uploaded as part of the archive restoration project. It was originally published in November 2014. “Maybe I’m mistaken, expecting you to fight Or maybe I’m just crazy, I don’t know wrong from right But while I am still living, I’ve just got… Continue reading Freeing Self-Deceived Fundamentalists
“Cast in this unlikely role Ill-equipped to act With insufficient tact One must put up barriers To keep oneself intact” –Rush Each time I try to write about my father, I pick up the post and leave it alone for a while. Perhaps that’s because my dad and I were pals for so many years.… Continue reading Those Who Wish to Seem
“So tiny dancer, beware – we’re medicated and scared This smile is so hard to wear So turn away from the ones who hurt everyone I can tell by your smile you’re coming undone And you’re fading with every day… There’s so much left in the air, So much to tell from your stare.” -Seether… Continue reading ‘She Doesn’t Smile Much’
CW: I describe unsanitary conditions for childbirth in this post…not sure if that’s a specific trigger for people, but thought it still deserved a warning. “Pull back the curtains Took a look into your eyes My tongue has now become A platform for your lies.” -Cage the Elephant My dad was playing his guitar, and… Continue reading Born to Breed
“That’s not despair you’re feeling, it’s the petulant reaction of a wounded child And that’s not the door I’m looking at, it’s an escape hatch to the zeppelin we’re inside… This ain’t an insult, it’s the clearest truth I’ve ever had the misery to speak These aren’t words, these are the terms of my surrender… Continue reading When a Child is Taught to Hate: My Version of the Alicia Story, Part 2
“I’ve been trying to justify you In the end, I will just defy you.” –Dream Theater, ‘Honor Thy Father’ It started with fights, and I’d never heard my parents yelling. I would be in bed already. Alicia had missed her curfew again. Dad was yelling at her. I crawled out of bed and hid at… Continue reading When A Child is Taught to Hate: My Version of the Alicia Story, Part 1
“Don’t give me love, don’t give me faith Wisdom nor pride, give innocence instead Don’t give me love, I’ve had my share Beauty nor rest, give me truth instead.” -Nightwish Imagine growing up in a house where the salt was labeled “sugar,” and the sugar was labeled “salt.” Then you make friends, and they talk about… Continue reading The Love Label
Note from April 9, 2021: This post was first published on October 27, 2014. I just found it this morning among my unpublished drafts, and decided to write a note here for the 468(!!) of you who will be getting this old piece of writing among your emails today. I take your attention seriously and… Continue reading Appreciating the Ride
“On prie pour sauver les apparences (To save someone from losing his appearance) Par moment oublier toutes les distances (In this moment you have to let go of all the distances) Sans répit je pense et les silences (Without a break I think, and all the silence) Dissimulent la souffrance de vos absences (The hidden… Continue reading ‘I’m Sorry You Lost Your Kids.’
“I want to become brave and courageous Not buried in self-pity of my own Ashamed and alone from all That’s been done to me It’s not my fault, I remind myself” -Plumb My parents weren’t exclusively abusive. I don’t think they were the worst parents ever. Before I learned about the subtleties of abuse, I’d… Continue reading Of Course It Wasn’t All Bad