This is a repost from my restored archives. It was re-uploaded June 16, 2018. “I don’t think they mean to be abusive, though.” I hear those words at least once a week. People come to me with their stories, and I point out patterns of abuse, and they rush to the defense of the loved… Continue reading When Parents Idealize Themselves
This article was re-uploaded in 2018. It is part of the archive restoration project. One of the most important articles I read this year was “When Shame Feels Mothering: The Tragedy of Parentified Daughters.” In it, the author explains how role-switching works with girls who have needy mothers. If a mother needs an emotional outlet,… Continue reading Little Soldiers’ Little Shoulders
This post was reuploaded in 2018 as part of the archive restoration project. One way to describe depression is that there’s a disconnect between the cognition and the emotions. I can tell myself not to feel so down, that I have no reason to be unmotivated and groggy, that there are things to do that… Continue reading It Feels Like Creativity
“I’m sorry, momma! I never meant to hurt you! I never meant to make you cry; But tonight, I’m cleaning out my closet.” -Eminem Last summer, I had a dream about my mother. In the dream, I was in my first consensual, trusting sexual relationship. My mom walked in on us and started screaming. “How… Continue reading Painting One-Dimensional Abusers
This is a re-upload from the lost archives. “That was childish.” My friend said. “Not very smart, perhaps,” I replied. “But childish? To call something childish – implying inexperience, stupidity, or lack of self-control – is an insult to children. It wasn’t all that uncommon, a mere century ago, to say ‘womanish’ in the same… Continue reading Children are people…and people are children
This is part of my restored archives. http://www.jeubfamily.com/2009/03/13/above-fulfillment https://web.archive.org/web/20150529063223/http://www.jeubfamily.com:80/2009/03/13/above-fulfillment When I started blogging, I wrote about being haunted by the words in a song (I still do that all the time). The song is called “More to Life” by Stacie Orrico. It goes like this: Here in this moment I’m halfway out the door On… Continue reading Here in this Moment
I used to really hate emotion. I didn’t think it was logical to trust your feelings. What do your emotions know? They’re just a distraction or an obstacle to doing the reasonable thing. As it turns out, intuition is ridiculously helpful. Our subconscious awareness is way ahead of our conscious awareness a lot of the… Continue reading Compassion as a Prerequisite to Questioning
Trigger warnings: current events and politics “By voting, you are complying. You are complying to a preexisting system. I think we need real significant change, and that real change won’t come if enough people are complying. While you see voting as expressing yourself, I see it as compliance with the system.” -Russell Brand, who explains not… Continue reading How I Got Burned Out On Current Events and Politics by Age 19
This is a repost, as I am in the process of restoring my lost archives. It was originally published January 7, 2015. Last week, my dad sent me an email. Like every email and message he sends, it contained a demand: he wants me to stop saying that my parents are keeping my siblings from… Continue reading ‘Stop Saying We’re Keeping Your Siblings from You.’
Trigger warning: homophobia, manipulation, abuse Manipulative abusers can be anyone, especially trusted people. This is a longer post than usual because I want to provide a comprehensive source for what a conversation with an abuser looks like. I have multiple examples of conversations like this one, but this argument is ideal because it took place… Continue reading Identifying Manipulative Abuse Tactics