“Trapped in a cold white room I want to know, who’ll be there when you snuff the wick? I won’t reflect the same as you I want the proof you’ll promise to let ’em down quick. I never want to see clear at all There’s nothing that could be there now Pull out your teeth… Continue reading Dear Anxiety
“Descartes invoked God – in this case, a literal deus ex machina – to save himself…When people run up against something inexplicable, transcendent, and, most of all, ineffable, they often call it ‘God,’ as if that were some sort of explanation.” –Barbara Ehrenreich “If you withhold information from your children because you would rather them… Continue reading When God Spoke to Me
“Loyal dogs, unfailing tool They do what they have been trained to With the eidolons, the minds are full The evil ghosts of old The evil ghosts of old Insanity turns back at last As soon as their food is done And dog will raven dog The claws crush bones, the claws crush bones Claws… Continue reading Cultivating Intelligent Disobedience
Content warnings: gaslighting, child abuse, mental illness, suicide, eating disorders, poverty Now is as good a time as any to explain why exactly my blog was so choppy over the past four years. I don’t trust people like I used to. I don’t believe the world is full of sunshine and roses, like my parents… Continue reading What Happened
Content warning: eating disorders, food trauma, depression The subject of nutritional abuse is one that I’ve found difficult to talk about for a long time. I keep thinking that it’s because I’m no nutritionist, and I’m not really qualified, but this fear masks avoidance. The thing is, I don’t always know when I’m hungry, because… Continue reading Depression Meals and Food Recovery
Updated 5/6/2019: Below is a commentary I wrote in August 2018 about the events leading up to my family’s first response to my blog posts in 2014, a podcast. My parents claim that they never gave any kind of response until March of 2019. The podcast was re-uploaded to YouTube, which my dad had taken… Continue reading Podcast Transcript: The Deleted Confession
“A dancing puppet doll made of wood I bet he’d run away one day if he could choose to leave or stay He’s got a string attached to every bone She’s got him round her little finger so she’ll never feel alone…” –Aurora, Puppet I was originally going to write today about nutritional abuse and… Continue reading Cheaper by the Proxy: Why the Majority of Abuse Victims Don’t Escape
“Shitty weather, bad timing Lucky penny glued to the ground Dirty look from total stranger Hope you get lost and you’re not found Take a look at what we’ve become Nothing more than silhouettes of A pretty family on a postcard Picture perfect, I don’t want it So I hold my breath ’til my heart… Continue reading The Search for Solutions
My wonderful man is fascinated with psychology, and often collects books on the nature of the human mind, along with neurology. Recently he put a project together called “The Diversity of Human Thought,” in which he sends people the same set of questions to demonstrate how different people see the same scenarios. They range from… Continue reading The Diversity of Human Thought: A Project
Is science another religion, or does studying it benefit humanity? The more we learn, the less we know, and that massiveness of not-knowledge is the void. Physically, spiritually, consciously. That which we do not know, cannot observe, cannot comprehend, is outgrowing God so fast that he’s just ordinary beans compared to Jack’s cloud-reaching plant. And… Continue reading Arguing with the Void