Wrote this poem a few days ago. It’s very raw, but I was encouraged to share it with the world.
The emotions I’m feeling aren’t ones that I know any song for
Compassion for my abuser
Understanding for the one who hurt me
Simultaneous anger and release from pain passed on
You used your pain as an excuse
Your past as a motivation
To pass on your responsibility
To a child
I know you tried
You tried, you tried
To reverse the pattern of what you endured
Over-nurture, under-care
That was your smothering and exhausting way
Because your childhood wound was neglect
Mine was a whole mess of lies to deconstruct
About myself and sex and life and divinity
Because you wanted a girl in a box
And didn’t think it odd to have her wait on you hand and foot
Your own child, serving you like a queen
How do you rationalize that?
I feel
Compassion and empathy
Because you had no protection when you were young
But I also feel
Contempt
Because neither did I
And you should have known better